Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof

Newsletters

In Communications, Newsletters, Work materials on April 28, 2007 at 8:33 am

I have had a great deal of opportunity over the years to create and distribute corporate newsletters. Although blogs and other social media have eroded the primacy of this method for keeping in touch with one’s customers, it’s a far cry from finished. I’ve included excerpts from several I’ve created below.

From the iKarma Newsletter.

Featured Feature

Most people use a number of reputational services scattered across the Internet, each of which gives a separate narrow glimpse into who they are as a person. You may have comments about your thoughtfulness on a Blogger.com blog, examples of your intelligence and interests at Amazon, shopping scores that indicate your trustworthiness on eBay, enthusiastic critiques of your photos on Flickr and personality information at Match.com.

Now you can unify all these accounts on your iKarma Profile.

United iKarma allows you to easily bring together all the elements of your online reputation on your iKarma Profile. Now when someone comes to your profile, they’ll have access to all your online reputation from one place.

The new version also provides you with the ability to bring together all your various email accounts.

Additionally, you’ll be able to reach out to those other accounts and install an iKarma medallion on them.

“We designed iKarma so our users could bring the benefits of reputation management out to their other activities on the web,” said iKarma CEO, Paul Williams “ With our new features, our users will also be able to apply their other Web activities to enhance their iKarma. The synergy this creates is truly karmic.”

From the Elance Newsletter.

ELANCE TOOLBOX

HOW MUCH IS THAT IN ZLOTYS?
Elance is devoted to the global nature of both the marketplace and the Internet. In an attempt to further integrate our users, we have introduced Multicurrency. Multicurrency allows the buyer to post projects in their home currency and receive bids in that currency. In most other situations it will also allow any user to see figures in a selected currency.

WHOSE LITTLE WIZARD ARE YOU?
With the addition of the RFP Wizard buyers can post projects with step-by-step assistance. The Wizard will ask the right question at the right time and by following its suggestions you will be able to post a description of your project that is both the most accurate for potential bidders and insures you communicate your needs completely.

I DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD A SECRETARY.
Sellers can now sign up to receive email notification whenever a Request for Proposal (RFP) is posted in their chosen marketplace. This process is easily customized with the addition of keyword. To subscribe, click Edit Profile in the My Elance navigation bar. Scroll down the page until you see the heading marked Subscription. Check back to make sure that your selection is getting you all the Requests for Proposals (RFPs) that interest you. Keep in mind the keywords are very literal. Entering the keyword ‘designer’ may not capture an RFP with the keyword ‘design.’

CALL FOR YOU ON LINE FOUR.
We have added filters to the Request for Proposal (RFP) marketplace, the Fixed-Price Service marketplace and to the lists of bids. This will allow you to customize the listings that come to you, for example, those that have been placed within the last 3 days, only those that have detailed profiles, or only those service offers posted by users with feedback above 4.0. These filters are displayed in the heading of each marketplace and at the top of lists of bids on the project description pages.

GET THE GOODS ON ANYONE WITHOUT HIRING A PRIVATE DICK.
Detailed user feedback is now available in each Elancer’s profile. Information now displayed in the profile includes the total value of all RFP transactions in which the user has participated, as either a buyer or a seller, and the amount of the user’s Fixed-Price activity.

From the Sproutit Newsletter.

Sign Up for Our Super Ultra Mega Newsletter.

Newsletters make me angry. And you wouldn’t like me angry. Most of the newsletters that are foisted on us are chock-a-block with tainted clams, contrived enthusiasms, transparently false bonhomie and a writing style that smells like the panicked waste of a suicidal robot.

Our newsletter, The Illustrated Sprout, is a tainted clam-free zone and we resent the accusation. The Illustrated Sprout, hand-written by crayon on pieces of bark by super-intelligent sea cucumbers, will have news you might actually use (though probably not). These could include anagrams, encrypted photos of Zbigniew Brzezinski and furious screeds on obscure Welsh verse forms. Any “tips” proffered will be your own doing. Your undoing. Doong doong doing ding dong. Language is fun.

Below are two boxes. Check the first one to indicate your irrational desire to read The Illustrated Sprout on a regular basis (i.e., your inbox is not full enough of ads for boner cream and stock offerings from the Island of Dr. Moreau). Check the other box in a vain attempt to decline. If you check both or neither (or either), we will send you the newsletter. We will ram fistful after fistful of gibberish into your computer hole. Come on. I’m kidding. You can always opt out later. Or at least you can try. * titter *

,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: