Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof

Chiliphone.com: Web 2.0 Shows Resurrective Potential for Web 1.0 Companies

In Bob Folder, Social media, Superintelligent sea cucumbers, Web2.0, Web2.faux on January 16, 2006 at 5:59 pm

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CHILIPHONE.COM ANNOUNCES RECAPITALIZATION

1990s high-tech darlings Chiliphone.com announce surprise $13.5 million in funding for second round Web 2.0 resurrection

SAN BILBO, California – January 20, 2006 – Chiliphone.com, once touted as the IBM of the wireless-comestibles convergence of the late 90s, has announced the acquisition of very late stage second round funding to the tune of $8.9 million from Bessemer Venture Capital, $3.4 million from August Capital and $1.2 million from Union Square Ventures.

“Chiliphone.com is particularly well suited to the Web 2.0 sphere,” said Union Square’s Fred Wilson. “They’re going to make like a million dollars and have helicopters and everything. Guaranteed.”

The firm, which drives a retail-bound high-end comestibles verge into the hot region of wireless connectivity is bound to take some pointers from Wilson, as well as from August’s David Hornik and David Cowan of Bessemer. All three have joined Chiliphone.com’s board.

Chiliphone.com is the perfect Web 2.0 company, according to Hornik. “They have adapted every cell of information to a dynamic RSS that will allow it maximum utility across applications.” This, despite the fact that the reworked Chiliphone.com site, now a blog, is operating in stealth mode.

The up-ramability of its mobile application will make it de rigeur for those seeking extra-conversational wireless social software communications space, according to Bessemer’s Cowan, while its auto-tagging capacity will produce an idea stream easily adapted to the demands of any syndication system.

“Chiliphone.com’s gone and saved us,” said company CFO Timmy J. Jimmy. “It’s our entre into the expanding world of commerce as conversation. I can see this as a model for other of our sector-specific enterprises.”

***

About Chiliphone.com
Chiliphone.com is a part of the extremely close family if you know what I mean and I think you do of Ozark Jimmy Global Enterprises Holding Company Inc. Chiliphone.com is the Web 2.0 wireless leader in distributed systems technologies.

About Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises Holding Company Inc.
Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises Holding Company is a privately held company, whose backers include Taq Hamas Revolutionary Venture Funding Cell, Cahuenga Brothers, Ltd. and the Virtual Hillbilly Investment Capital Fund. These banditos led an equity round of $25 million in June, 1999. Billy-Joe Al ‘Abdurrahman, general partner of Taq Hammas and Nimrod Cajones, general partner of Cahuenga Brothers, Ltd., joined Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises Holding Company ‘s Board of Directors at that time. Abdurrahman is currently director of numerous companies, none of which can be mentioned by name on pain of death. Cajones was a co-founder of Poncho.com, and is a director of several high-growth Internet companies, including Llamaspace, Cahuengista.com and Martha Stewart Living.

Chiliphone.com: Where Wireless Technology and Good Chili Meet
Interview Contact: Bob Folder, Director of Communications, Chiliphone.com
Telephone: (610) 909-0909
Email: bfolder@ozarkjimmy.com
Corporate site: http://www.ozarkjimmy.com

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  1. […] Back in the day (pre-Day2.0), and of course now in the day, we used to have to produce smart-ass stuff like this largely by hand. (The exception being the Web Economy Bullshit Generator.) Now […]

  2. […] places in the Internets. I’m going to list them here so you can look at them and love him more. Chiliphone. He was Director of Communications for this enormously successful the Internets company. Dada: […]

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