Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof

Ozark Jimmy Global Enterprises: Producers of the World’s Most Popular Line of Reconstituted Food Products

In Ozark Jimmy, Social media, Superintelligent sea cucumbers, Web2.0, Web2.faux on December 4, 2004 at 11:08 pm

OZARK JIMMY’S MESQUITE-FLAVORED JAPANESE-STYLE TOILET BACON
In 25-, 50-and 150-foot family spools

“Nothing spells ‘mornin’ time like the whine of the reel as Ma unwinds a length of Ozark Jimmy’s.”


The Extremely Close Family If You Know What I Mean of Ozark Jimmy Products:

Comestibles

Ozark Jimmy’s Mesquite-Flavored Japanese-Style Toilet Bacon, in 25-, 50- and 150-Foot Family Spools
Ozark Jimmy’s Toilet-Bacon Energy Bar with Bacoflavonoids
Ozark Jimmy’s Creosote-Infused Toilet-Bacon Breakfast Bar
Ozark Jimmy’s Essence of Peony Toilet-Bacon Skin Conditioner
Ozark Jimmy’s Bourbon-Flavored Toilet-Bacon Barbeque Sauce with Creosote Essence
Ozark Jimmy’s Toilet-Bacon-Style Bourbon
Ozark Jimmy’s Lebanese Slow Pokes – “They’re fog-packed® so you know they’re good.”
Ozark Jimmy’s Hawaiian-Style Macadamia Toilet-Bacon Puffs
New! Toi-Lite. Diet Toilet Bacon with Ginko Biloba—half the calories, half the flavor!

Toys, Personal Defense Technology, Comfort Tools, Hardware, Med’cine & Teachin’s
Ozark Jimmy’s Cop-in-a-Can
G.I. Jimmy – with Ozark Action
Ozark Jimmy’s Pepperwood Toilet-Bacon Back Scratcher
The Teachings of Ozark Jimmy (three-volume manuscript and video tape)
Ozark Jimmy’s Port-A-Reel – “For on-the-fly feedin’s.”®
Ozark Jimmy’s Med’cine Cab’nit: Baconacea
Ozark Jimmy’s Med’cine Cab’nit: High Colonic Cleanser – “It coats and protects.”®

Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises Holding Company includes the following business properties
Ozark Jimmy’s Arkansas Smoked Meat Products, Inc.
Ozark Jimmy’s Insurance Agency, LLC
Ozark Mountain Falafel Company fast food chain
Ozark Jimmy’s Printing, Inc.
The Taco Hamas fast food chain
Myyung Dong Tofu Cabin
Ozark Jimmy’s Med’cine Cab’nit Natural Herbal Remedies

Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises Holding Company Board of Directors and Officers
Chairman of the Board: Ozark Jimmy
CEO: Ma
President: Daisy
COO / Night Janitor: Hans Memling
CFO / Assistant Night Janitor: Timmy J. Jimmy
CTO / Company Spokesman: Carlos Canulas
Senior Vice President: Kitty Canulas
Vice President, Frontier Gibberish: Joe Brooks
Head of Corporate Fitness: Shaunta D. Teeters
Head of Corporate Security: Bubba D. Teeters
Director of Corporate Communications: Bob Folder
Assistant to the Chairman: Petula Fudge
Arch Enemy: Adirondack Stan
Aristocratic Ancestor: Sir Edmund Teeters B

Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises Holding Company and Factory Outlet Mall is located in Buttitta Plaza (“Home of the Samoan Know-It-All”®) at the corner of El Camino Real and Blohmy Street in the Tri-Cities (Boiling, North of Boiling and San Bilbo). Please contact us for an exciting and explosive revenue-building opportunity as an Ozark Jimmy franchise-holder.

Ozark Jimmy Charitable Trust
“That’ll keep ’em from feelin’ like animals.”
-Joe Brooks

, ,

Advertisements
  1. […] (pre-Day2.0), and of course now in the day, we used to have to produce smart-ass stuff like this largely by hand. (The exception being the Web Economy Bullshit Generator.) Now “engines” do it […]

  2. […] Bob at Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises. He was the Director of Communications at this multinational. […]

  3. […] Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises: He was Director of Communications at this multinational conglomerate. […]

  4. […] de Antoñito el Camborio"Two Memos About Hans the Night JanitorStatistics on Fired BloggersOzark Jimmy Global Enterprises: Producers of the World's Most Popular Line of Reconstituted Food Pro…Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Sant, You Sad BastardsFishmortal is America's Hero!About […]

  5. […] was reliable, while the New American maybe not; the Mayo Clinic was reliable, but maybe not Ozark Jimmy‘s Holistic Healing and Toilet Bacon Dispensary. But how to do it in the anything-goes […]

  6. […] was reliable, while the New American maybe not; the Mayo Clinic was reliable, but maybe not Ozark Jimmy's Holistic Healing and Toilet Bacon Dispensary. But how to do it in the anything-goes atmosphere of […]

  7. […] was reliable, while the New American maybe not; the Mayo Clinic was reliable, but maybe not Ozark Jimmy's Holistic Healing and Toilet Bacon Dispensary. But how to do it in the anything-goes atmosphere of […]

  8. […] was reliable, while the New American maybe not; the Mayo Clinic was reliable, but maybe not Ozark Jimmy‘s Holistic Healing and Toilet Bacon Dispensary. But how to do it in the anything-goes […]

  9. […] was reliable, while the New American maybe not; the Mayo Clinic was reliable, but maybe not Ozark Jimmy‘s Holistic Healing and Toilet Bacon Dispensary. But how to do it in the anything-goes […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: