It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it.

Archive for January, 2006|Monthly archive page

Iran in Blogologue

In Blogging, Iran, Publications on January 24, 2006 at 7:59 am

I have contributed a piece called “The Image of Iran” to Farid Pouya’s Blogologue project. This is an attempt to create a dialogue between bloggers and non-bloggers around the world on certain topics. This first one was on the image of Iran in the Western media. I was flattered that Farid asked me to put in my two cents worth.

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Chiliphone.com: Web 2.0 Shows Resurrective Potential for Web 1.0 Companies

In Bob Folder, Social media, Superintelligent sea cucumbers, Web2.0, Web2.faux on January 16, 2006 at 5:59 pm

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CHILIPHONE.COM ANNOUNCES RECAPITALIZATION

1990s high-tech darlings Chiliphone.com announce surprise $13.5 million in funding for second round Web 2.0 resurrection

SAN BILBO, California – January 20, 2006 – Chiliphone.com, once touted as the IBM of the wireless-comestibles convergence of the late 90s, has announced the acquisition of very late stage second round funding to the tune of $8.9 million from Bessemer Venture Capital, $3.4 million from August Capital and $1.2 million from Union Square Ventures.

“Chiliphone.com is particularly well suited to the Web 2.0 sphere,” said Union Square’s Fred Wilson. “They’re going to make like a million dollars and have helicopters and everything. Guaranteed.”

The firm, which drives a retail-bound high-end comestibles verge into the hot region of wireless connectivity is bound to take some pointers from Wilson, as well as from August’s David Hornik and David Cowan of Bessemer. All three have joined Chiliphone.com’s board.

Chiliphone.com is the perfect Web 2.0 company, according to Hornik. “They have adapted every cell of information to a dynamic RSS that will allow it maximum utility across applications.” This, despite the fact that the reworked Chiliphone.com site, now a blog, is operating in stealth mode.

The up-ramability of its mobile application will make it de rigeur for those seeking extra-conversational wireless social software communications space, according to Bessemer’s Cowan, while its auto-tagging capacity will produce an idea stream easily adapted to the demands of any syndication system.

“Chiliphone.com’s gone and saved us,” said company CFO Timmy J. Jimmy. “It’s our entre into the expanding world of commerce as conversation. I can see this as a model for other of our sector-specific enterprises.”

***

About Chiliphone.com
Chiliphone.com is a part of the extremely close family if you know what I mean and I think you do of Ozark Jimmy Global Enterprises Holding Company Inc. Chiliphone.com is the Web 2.0 wireless leader in distributed systems technologies.

About Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises Holding Company Inc.
Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises Holding Company is a privately held company, whose backers include Taq Hamas Revolutionary Venture Funding Cell, Cahuenga Brothers, Ltd. and the Virtual Hillbilly Investment Capital Fund. These banditos led an equity round of $25 million in June, 1999. Billy-Joe Al ‘Abdurrahman, general partner of Taq Hammas and Nimrod Cajones, general partner of Cahuenga Brothers, Ltd., joined Ozark Jimmy’s Global Enterprises Holding Company ‘s Board of Directors at that time. Abdurrahman is currently director of numerous companies, none of which can be mentioned by name on pain of death. Cajones was a co-founder of Poncho.com, and is a director of several high-growth Internet companies, including Llamaspace, Cahuengista.com and Martha Stewart Living.

Chiliphone.com: Where Wireless Technology and Good Chili Meet
Interview Contact: Bob Folder, Director of Communications, Chiliphone.com
Telephone: (610) 909-0909
Email: bfolder@ozarkjimmy.com
Corporate site: http://www.ozarkjimmy.com

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Anonymous Blogging Wiki

In Blogsafer, Threatened bloggers on January 7, 2006 at 9:49 pm

The project I’ve been working on for the last five months is finally up. It’s a wiki with five targeted guides to anonymous blogging.

You can read the press release here or here.

BlogSafer, the anonymous blogging guide wiki, is here.

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Anthem for Doomed Youth

In Bob Folder, Poetry, Writers on January 2, 2006 at 3:04 am

I just read a review of another biography of Siegfried Sassoon, the World War I poet, in the New York Times. (I won’t link to it since it requires registration.) I’ve never read Sassoon but the reviewer, Daniel Swift, quotes a few lines of his long poem, “The Old Huntsman.” It’s excellent and I may have to read him.

I never broke
Out of my blundering self into the world.
But let it all go past me, like a man
Half asleep in a land that’s full of wars.

He has that “legato” often ascribed to Sassoon’s friend, the poet Wilfred Owen, who is, I think, the best war poet who ever lived and one of my favorite poets of any kind. I read him initially around the time of the first Gulf War, and have since read all his poetry. Here is one of my favorites by him. (The other is “Dulce Et Decorum Est.”)

Anthem for Doomed Youth

What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles’ rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.
No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells;
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,—
The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.

What candles may be held to speed them all?
Not in the hands of boys but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of good-byes.
The pallor of girls’ brows shall be their pall;
Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.

The summer before last, when S. and I went to Europe the last time, I saw a draft of that poem in the British Library, with Sasoon’s hand-written notes to Owen! Here’s what I wrote in my European Journal about it.

Just visited the Ritblat Gallery where we saw a first draft of “Anthem for Doomed Youth” by Wilfred Owen with Siegfried Sasson’s remarks penciled in. Thought I was going to bawl or faint.

Of course, no homage could be better than the version of the poem, “translated” by the “poet” Bob Folder.

Sampan for Spooned Moose

What nasty smells for these who fly as squirrels?
Only the monstrous tang of the gum.
Only the muttering ribald splatter
Can pitter-patter out the tasty onion buns.
No rocketry now for them; no crazy as hell.
Nor tiny vase for whoring enslaves the choirs—
The real demonic sauce of the willing snails;
And bagels mauling them like tiny tires.

What candies may be smelled to feed their balls?
Not in a randy Troy, their butts tell lies.
Small spices, the lowly grammas of my eyes,
The squalor of squirrels shall see them crawl;
The showers on bended knees of venetian blinds,
A leech slam dunks the chaw plug of the mind.


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